📍 From: Underfiend Griphax
📍 To: Screwtape, Tormentorship Emeritus
📅 Filed under: #ReligiousRot #FaithAsBrand #WeaponizedWorship
“A lukewarm believer is worth a hundred atheists.”
— Screwtape, Post-Canonical Memoirs
Most Venomous Uncle,
Forgive the delay in correspondence. I was briefly promoted to Head of Soul Analytics for a particularly wretched influencer ministry, until an internal audit discovered my numbers were too damningly successful.
No matter. I return to you now with another update on Subject #768B.
🙏 Faith, Not as Fire, But as Flag
The patient has lately been experiencing… yearnings. A flicker of the old hunger—for meaning, for connection, even for the Enemy Himself. I feared revival. But, mercifully, he sought “spiritual content” through the algorithm.
And what does he find?
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Sermons cut into motivational snippets.
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A prosperity gospel with better lighting.
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Crusades of keyboard warriors who know the name of the Enemy but not the voice.
He consumes faith like he does everything else: as content. It is branding, posture, aesthetic. He wears a cross now—but as a lifestyle accessory. The symbol shines; the soul behind it rusts.
🧠 Righteousness Without Repentance
A core triumph has been decoupling belief from behavior. The patient is “spiritual,” but he does not pray. He loves quoting scripture (out of context) in arguments, but flinches at self-examination.
He condemns with zeal and forgives with reluctance. This is ideal.
We have ensured he confuses conviction with aggression and humility with weakness. The Enemy’s commands are inconvenient—so we help him interpret them as “outdated” or “optional.”
His faith is performative, not transformative. A perfect clone of virtue, designed to repel grace.
🔥 The Icon Inversion Protocol
He recently encountered a painting of the Enemy—gentle, bleeding, arms open. It stirred him. So I redirected him to a forum where the same image was used to promote intolerance, rage, and self-idolatry. (Incredible how flexible icons are when dipped in the acid of outrage.)
The trick is not to destroy the sacred—but to twist it.
Let them sing hymns, if they believe them battle cries.
Let them quote scripture, if they use it to harm.
I await your judgment, Uncle.
Should I push harder toward nationalism? Or gently nudge him into prosperity fluff? Or perhaps let him drift into vague mysticism where “everything is spiritual,” and nothing is holy?
All ears, all horns,
Underfiend Griphax
🕯 Division of Religious Dilution & Digital Doctrine Packaging
🗂 Tags: #SpiritualButNotRepentant #FaithAsAesthetic #CrossAsCostume #BlessedAreTheLoud
🖼 Header Art: Christ Pantocrator (6th century, St. Catherine’s Monastery)
💬 Comments hidden (lest truth seep in).
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