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📍 From: Underfiend Griphax
📍 To: Screwtape, Tormentorship Emeritus
📅 Filed under: #HolyBathBombs #InwardIdolatry #BetterLivingThroughSin
“Convince them the soul is an accessory and they’ll polish it, not cleanse it.”
— Screwtape, On the Cult of the Self
Uncle,
I hope this letter finds you basking in the furnace glow of infernal leisure, sipping the shrieks of the damned through a glass of compressed regret.
Here on the surface, the work continues splendidly. Today’s dispatch focuses on the most elegant corruption of all: convincing the humans that they are enough.
🛁 The Gospel of Self-Optimization
My patient has abandoned repentance in favor of “self-care.” Now, don’t be alarmed—he’s not praying or fasting. He’s exfoliating. Journaling. Charging his crystals. Whispering to himself in the mirror: “I am the love I’ve been waiting for.”
He believes the soul is a project, not a battlefield. That his flaws are “boundaries,” his vices are “coping strategies,” and that if he just drinks enough water, he'll be redeemed.
Better yet, he now views guilt as an attack on his self-esteem. We’ve replaced conviction with discomfort, and discomfort with oppression.
🪞 Salvation via Branding
We’ve turned wellness into worship. Every scented candle, every fitness tracker, every affirmation app sings a silent creed:
“You can fix yourself, if you just buy the right thing.”
He’s not repenting—he’s upgrading.
He’s not surrendering—he’s curating.
And he’s not seeking the Enemy—he’s following influencers who tell him he is his own answer.
He believes that if he’s hurting, it’s someone else’s fault. That healing must be soothing. That salvation is a process of self-discovery, not surrender.
He’s not angry at the Enemy.
He just thinks He’s… unnecessary.
🧘 The Most Painless Damnation
This form of damnation is wonderfully silent. No great rebellion. No bloody blasphemy. Just a slow, lukewarm drift into self-worship. The Enemy offers transformation, but we whisper, “You’re perfect just as you are.”
It is far easier to damn a human through comfort than cruelty.
Your input, as always, is welcomed—especially on whether I should next nudge him toward influencer spirituality or boutique mysticism. I’ve also secured him a “gratitude journal” that never once mentions grace.
Yours in softly whispered ruin,
Underfiend Griphax
💄 Division of Vanity, Vibes, and Vapid Virtue
🗂 Tags: #MeMyselfAndDamnation #HealingWithoutHoliness #GraceNotIncluded #FlawlessButFalling
🖼 Header Art: “Narcissus” by Caravaggio (public domain)
💬 Comments off — because negative energy, obviously.
