An After-Action Report from Frostbite Falls
(Or: “How to Launch a Moose and Influence Moon Men”)
Starring:
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Bullwinkle J. Moose as himself (of course)
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Mr. Peabody and Sherman as time-traveling consultants
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Gidney and Cloyd as concerned lunar ambassadors
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Boris Badenov as the saboteur in chief
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And special guest stars: the orcas of the Upper Mississippi Whitewater Ballet
Mission Summary:
When the Moon Men ran low on “Rocky Fuel” (a high-octane blend of energy, enthusiasm, and serialized plot devices), they traced the last known recipe to—where else?—Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, where Bullwinkle was set to debut his one-moose jug band at the Whirling Sawmill Music Festival (slogan: “We Keep Things Spinning”).
Peabody and Sherman, having triangulated the cosmic timeline on their WABAC Machine, arrived just in time to verify the original formula… right before Boris Badenov schemed to steal it for the glory of Pottsylvania. His plan? Trick Bullwinkle aboard a disguised rocketship headed for Pottsylvania's secret “Not-A-Moon” base.
Unfortunately for Boris (and fortunately for the plot), Sherman accidentally dropped a piece of Upsidaisium into the engine compartment during a polite game of Fetch the Element. The result? The ship floated off-course.
Enter Gidney and Cloyd, whose moon ship, out of fuel and full of sass, crash-landed onto the Upsidaisium-powered craft mid-flight. The resulting tangle of rockets, moose, and moon men careened into a high-stakes whitewater descent down the local Frostbite River.
Cue the orca cavalry.
Thanks to the Moon Men’s “universal cetacean translator” (which doubles as a kazoo), the orca population orchestrated a watery rescue worthy of synchronized swimming gold. Bullwinkle, meanwhile, had eaten the only copy of the Rocky Fuel formula earlier ("It looked like a pop tart!"), but thanks to his unique ability to remember everything he ever ate, he was able to burp the correct ratio into a molecular recompiler on impact.
One comedic explosion later, our heroes found themselves unexpectedly... on the Moon. Again.
Aftermath:
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Boris was last seen in orbit with only a squirrel-shaped piñata and a half-eaten bratwurst.
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The Moon Men offered Peabody a permanent position as “Lunar Secretary of Reasonably Mad Science,” which he politely declined.
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Sherman took home a souvenir: a moon rock that suspiciously resembles a bust of Bullwinkle.
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Bullwinkle now glows faintly in the dark.
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Frostbite Falls remains unaware of the concert's cancellation. The band played on.
Post-Credit Stinger:
As the dust settles and our heroes return home, two tiny, glowing eyes peek out from a moon crater. The Moon Mice have seen Earth… and they want cheese.
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